forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize