Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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