Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
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You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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