How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize