My Higher Power is John Stamos
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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