am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize