he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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