Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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