First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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