no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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