Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize