I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize