he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize