I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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