so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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