Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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