I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize