I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize