so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize