I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize