I CAN MOONWALK!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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