is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
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Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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