Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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