I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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