I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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