New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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