He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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