my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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