my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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