"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
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he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
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I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize