This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Randomize