garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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