i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize