For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
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she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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