god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize