How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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