her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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