whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize