If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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