my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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