I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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