I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize