Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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