I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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