I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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