Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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