i think my tv is drunk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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