there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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