It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
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he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
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I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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