I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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